Sunday, March 22, 2009

Feeling better.

We went out to the stables yesterday.

It was 77 degrees...perfect for riding horses.

The boys were saddling and brushing, clicking and whoah-ing and having the time of their lives.

Megan had found a new friend...Mary Claire. She brought a back pack full of princess things.

We brought the red wagon and I pulled the girls around and around while we listened to the wind and the horses.

After a while Megan and Mary Claire found a spot next to the arena where they could focus on their princesses and I found a flatish area covered in clover (horse poop free) where Laney could do what she does best. She walked away then turned around and came back. The next time she went further. Then further.

I just sat and enjoyed the sun as I watched my daughter come and go...moving faster than her legs could carry her. Every time she turned around it was like she was surprised to see me there waiting for her. I relished the opportunity to give her my attention, knowing that each of my other children were just as pleasantly engaged.

Quiet.

The absence of technology. No movies, no video games, no computer, no blog (please forgive me!), no phone.

I felt like I was healing from all the crazy that goes on in a day. I realize that it is my choice to do too much and allow too much into our lives. And maybe it's what I allow into our lives that is making me feel a bit scattered and incomplete.

When I slow down the way that I talk...take the time to look at them when they speak to me...and pause to think before I answer, I feel more like a human being. When I focus on one task at a time or one conversation at a time, I feel more like me and less like the aggravated, irritated, unapproachable version of myself that I become too easily.

I want to see more of myself this year...and less of her.

Do think a horse would be TOTALLY miserable in our backyard?

3 comments:

  1. I bet you could tie her up on treasure hill :) Great post.

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  2. I can completely relate. I spend two days at my sisters house on the outskirts of Kanab. No tv, no internet, just spending time with family. I get so caught up in my routine that I forget it's me putting all those things into my routine. Sometimes I wish I could just pack up the car with the essentials, grab Will, and just move somewhere where I don't have any commitments or responsibilities. Here's to live less cluttered.

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  3. I definitely need more moments like the one you've just described. It's too easy to get caught up in the "busy" of life. Thanks for reminding me to slow down and look my children in the eye. I loved this. (p.s. I promise I'm not a crazy stalker. I'm an old friend of Mark's and he sent me to your blog to sell me on a Dyson. I have to say it worked! I'm glad to hear it's good at sucking up cheerios. I definitely need that around here.)

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