Taking a step back

Things are hard. 

Really hard. 

Anxiety has come a calling. 

Knocking down Anna's door. 

I'm a mess. I can't eat. 

She's all over the place. 

I don't know how to help.

School is impossible. 

The mood swings are terrifying. 

We need to know more than we know. 

Running away. 

Tears and defiance. 

Chasing.

Pleading. 

Crying and driving. 

Price Chopper and the playhouse. 

Bare feet and concrete. 

Police. 

Remember when I thought waking up with the baby was going to break me?

I worry this will break me. 

But it won't. Because it can't. 

We are taking a step back. 

We're going to breath and hold puppies. 

And make it through another day.

Because she is our baby and she is worth all of it. 

Jesper

 Poor little Jesper passed away last night. Anna's heart is broken. She worked hard to help him be tame and he finally was able to be held. He was a sweetie. 

Anna made him a sweet little grave near the big tree in the back yard. She felt like the big roots would protect him. And she had full use of all the flowers in the garden to make his little spot beautiful.

75 Hard

I'd have to be a much better writer than I am to effectively communicate what it means to finish 75 Hard. 75 gallons of water, several excellent books read, meal tracking, annoying all of our friends, calorie counting and almost daily winter walks...some so cold that I was grateful to have thick warm facemasks leftover from the pandemic. 

But we did it!

 

Mark's last walk: 

And mine, on my trip to St. George:

Our respective rewards on Day 76!

Homecoming

He's home!!!

We are glad he's here. Tonight we catch up and let him tell all the stories. 

Tomorrow we mancala. 

 

Anna turns 11

Is there anything better than having a birthday-eve pumpkin pie celebration with your family? 

Yes, there is. 

Having a birthday-eve pumpkin pie celebration with your family AND a tower of ICE CREAM!!

Birthday morning arrived bright and early with a killer streamer configuration and a box of French Toast Crunch. So grateful for big kids that can pull through on the streamers for me. 

AJ had a movie night with a big gaggle of kids. I would say "friends", but as the night wore on, we began to see that several of these kids did not qualify for the title. They were loud, rude and self-absorbed. It was a lesson Anna and I both learned and might be the most valuable gifts acquired that night. 

On the flip side, the other half of the kids really did show up for her as true friends and their kindness and friendship saved the day. 

Happy Birthday, Anna!  (Check out Rebecca's expression..now that's a good friend)

 

The Halloween Throwdown

I did a CrossFit competition. 

It was hard and I am proud of myself. But I really hated it. And I promise I will never do one again. 

Why do we feel compelled to pay a hundred dollars for the privilege of doing 5 workouts in ONE DAY. 

WHILE PEOPLE WATCH.

And yell at you that "you can do it!" when you cannot, in fact "do it".

Still. 

Here is photographic evidence that I participated. 

Mark did too!

I really hate this picture. 

But On Track one the Affiliate trophy. Which was the whole point. So at least I didn't suffer in vain. 

 CrossFit.

The Flynn Fire

 I woke up to the sound of Courtney's voice telling me that her house was on fire. 

We flew out of bed and were standing in their street before my brain could process what she was saying. 

We stood with them as the firefighters worked to put the fire out, then brought them back to our house to rest and decide what to do. 

In the morning, they were able to see the damage to the house. 

The fire started in the garage, probably from a faulty lithium battery. The cars were a total loss and they wouldn't be able to be in the house for the forseeable future. Everything would need to be cleaned and repaired in the coming months. 

Is it terrible to admit that I was excited to have them stay with us while they figured out their temporary living arrangements? 

We love the Flynns and I kinda hope we'll retire somewhere as neighbors. 

Emma is processing the fire in her own way....

Maybe mostly just needs lots of treats and butt scratches to overcome her displacement. 

Happy to oblige.