Spring Break....a party in the car.

Last week was Spring Break and despite the attractiveness of carrying out a weeklong romance with Chuck-e-cheese, we decided to pack up the silver bullet and head for Utah. The trip out took 3 days. We were in good spirits. We had redbox. We had miniature Hersheys (the big bag) and dum dums and I have good aim. The kids and I came to an agreement on the movie/music ratio. They can watch a movie and then I get 4 loud songs, chosen by each of them from my ipod. They have a soft spot for Queen.




All was well until we were about 30 minutes from Salina, KS, our first destination. The snow started coming and then the wind picked up. We slowed WAY down and I started to get nervous. Before you know it we had done a 360 and spun off the freeway and down the side of the bank.

So scary.

We took several deep breaths and I tried to pull myself together. We prayed for help. We inched the car back and forth until we were out of the ruts we had created as we slipped. Long story short...after many attempts, help from a guy in a green camaro and many fervent prayers from the children...we managed to get back on to the freeway. The kids cheered and I cried. I won't pretend that the whole thing didn't scare me. Big time. It took us another hour to creep our way down the freeway the remaining 20 miles to Salina.

Who knew one could love the sight of Salina so much? No offense, Salinites.

The next day brought us to beautiful Grand Junction, Colorado. We especially loved passing though the tunnels coming through the Rockies. We could have done without Laney repeatedly yelling "Nuther tunnel!?" for a solid 15 minutes after passing through each one.

We stayed in an awesome cheap motel with an extremely comfy Lazyboy. It was preferable to being beat to death by either set of crazy legs in the beds.

And Sunday morning brought us to Spanish Fork. As usual we spilled out of the van, wrappers and empty water bottles and socks and coloring books left in our wake. The boys gave Grandma a quick hug and went straight for the video games in her playroom. I'm sure she felt super loved.

And so we commenced a week of spending time with siblings and cousins. I truly loved every minute and it reminded me that living 1242 miles away pretty much sucks (pardonay mwah).

A few of our activities:

We did a great deal of hanging around. The kids made good use of Grandma's many wonders in the closet. Here's Ethan and his Mega Magz horse.


We went up to the Dinosaur Museum at Thanksgiving Point. Otherwise known as an expensive way to play in the sandbox with a hose and a bag of plastic dinos available for purchase at your local dollar store. Still....it is cool.



We also took fun trip to SLC. The highlight of which was riding the train:




Jordan and his son, Thayn, and Grandma.

Cheyanne with a new baby on the way!
Amanda and Bri and I believe the top of Thomas' curly head.

We were also very enamored with "waiting for the train". What can I say? Arkansas is completely lacking in Public Transportation. Unless you are of a mind to ride the short blue bus to and from Wal-Mart. If so, my apologies.

Meggy seeking refuge from the wind.

We enjoyed a quick stroll around temple square.


Is it just me or do I look a bit beaten down by life? Like I might fall over at any moment. oh. and weird hair.

And a ride up to the top of the Joseph Smith Building. We lacked reverence.


So we headed over to the teeniest tiniest most insanely delicious waffle shop in all of the known universe. I kid you not. It was freezing and there was only outdoor seating, but these waffles were enough to make you sit your chilly behind in that frosty metal chair until you have licked the last drop of whip cream off your fork. And don't even get me started on the fries. Heaven preserve us. You MUST go! You must!



Afterwards we did our fancy speedwalk back to the train stop and rode it back to the stadium where we did our dance of joy that we had escaped getting a ticket for parking at the UofU stadium. Ha HA!

Back to Bri and Amanda's place for a potty break and we went out to Antelope Island to view a few buffalo. But forget the buffalo! Who needs buffalo when you have....

Of course, these are the oldest known rocks on the planet. I do believe they are 2.7 BILLION years old. The thing I keep thinking is that if these rocks are 2.7 BILLION years old, how old are the rocks underneath them. Right?

Just sayin.

So, the week was a success. We had lots of dinners and long conversations and cousins in and out. And too soon it was time to leave. We opted for the route through Cheyenne and along I-80, mainly because it was snowing in Colorado and I am understandably freaked out by snow at this time. As an extra precaution we sprung for new tires before we hit the road. ouch. Tires are stupid expensive.

The trip home looked like this:

I spy with my little eye:
* a two year old slipping into a sugar coma
* a makeshift tent city in the back seat
* a four year old who has lost the will to live and will only respond to "who wants a sucker?"



* a loaf of Grandma Sycamore's yummy bread (I'll miss you Maceys)
* a bag of m&m cookies
* a sweater
* a purse, hopefully containing all necessary documents, licenses, toll money and credit cards

* a water bottle with a lost lid
*a water bottle that has been chewed on, therefore springing a leak and forcing me to confiscate it and keep it upside down until we stop for a potty break.

Somewhere in Wyoming we pulled over at a rest stop and were surprised to find a pretty great playground. Megan was overcome. She made a rock angel.

The kids climbed.


Laney clung.


We raided the maps and brochures by the bathrooms and we hit the road.

Mark had spaghetti and meatballs on the table when we pulled in.

Because of the love.

Home!

Good thing Easter dye is non-perishable

The road to a half-baked Easter is paved with 2 dozen white hard boiled eggs.

Laney turns 2

Sunday was Laney's 2nd birthday. This is our "family party year" so we celebrated together at home. I love "family party year". I get to enjoy splurging on my child without the added stress of trying to come up with acceptable goodie bags.

Laney woke up to a bed o' balloons. Some would view this as a strangulation hazard. We view it as a whole lotta fun.

She said "buhlOONS!" and got right to work whipping them around into a tangled mess. It was just what I was hoping for.

We went right into breakfast and by the time I got to the table I was reminded of my "impulse goggle purchase" of the night before.


They contributed mightily to excessively reverent scripture study.

After a plateful of blueberries and strawberries, we all dressed for Stake Conference and headed out. I think having Daylight Savings land on your birthday is like having the Universe slap you in the face. Tough luck, Laney.

Mark was sickety sicko, so stayed behind. This was a tragedy in that I was on my own with four kids, metal chairs, no cheerios, 25 colored pencils that I forgot to sharpen, and two hours of meetings. If it weren't for the lady behind me that took pity on my soul and provided several "lift the flap" books for Laney to peruse, we absolutely would have not made it. I promise you I had my diaper bag hastily packed, slung over my shoulder and whispered to the other kids "come on! follow me!" no less that three times. But somehow managed each time to plant my hiney back in the chair, breathe deeply and forge ahead. I'd like a certificate or cash prize, por favor.

But on the bright side, Mark had the spaghetti and garlic bread ready and waiting when we arrived home. It was a lovely sight to behold. And Mark doesn't skimp on the the butter and garlic. Wait, is it my birthday? mmm....butter.


After all the bellies were fed, we brought out the cake and sang to our sweet Laney. She was feelin the love (as seen in video below). But when it came time to blow out the candle, she couldn't quite get it and we watched in suspense as she tried and tried. When she finally did it, we all cheered so loud, she got scared and started to cry. Happy Birthday!

After the drama, she was ready to have a few quiet moments with her chocolate.


The presents were almost entirely Thomas the Tank engine gear and she couldn't have been more thrilled.


I can't get enough of the look on her face as she realizes this cake is for her and she soaks in the attention. Love it. Love her.



My little Miss Laney. I love you (and so does your Dad!) and I think you are the sassiest, smartest little sugar beet on the planet. Happy Birthday, fuzzbucket.

Adulthood

My children go to the dentist every 6 months like clockwork. Their little pearly whites have yet to come into contact with a drill. So they LOVE the dentist. Who wouldn't love an upbeat guy that has a frog puppet with teeth, video games in the waiting room, disney movies in the ceiling, stickers, prizes, namebrand toothbrushes and sunglasses to wear while they "count your teeth". For two weeks after each visit they ask when they get to go to the dentist again.

Weird.

I didn't fare so well with my childhood dental experience. I NEVER EVER entered that office without wanting to lose my cookies because of that nasty dentist smell. What is that? Makes me want to heave just thinking about it. And I certainly never left the office without a hefty dose of guilt for not flossing and an appointment to fill at least four cavities. Four! Every time!

It doesn't help that we were plagued with incompetent and even criminal dentists. I ask you, is it normal to ask your juvenile patients to give you their opinions on the merchandise you are planning to hawk at your "other job"? I have foggy recollections of a bright yellow shirt with a big smiley face on it. Even at that age, it seemed obvious to me that it would work to my advantage to give the hideous shirt a favorable review. He had a syringe and a drill. I wasn't stupid. I think that was the same guy that had a penchant for billing the insurance twice. Nothing a little time in the slammer didn't cure, I'm sure.

I hated the dentist.

So, once I had gotten the go ahead to go on my mission, I failed to darken the door of another dental office for many years.....7 years. The first time I called and made myself an appointment, I felt I had crossed over into responsible adulthood. I "sucked it up", went in and was pleasantly surprised to find that we were going to a capable and kind dentist. It also doesn't hurt that he has a lovely Arkansan drawl, calls me "darlin", and he doesn't HURT ME. He even started replacing my old silver fillings with white ones. I really love that. Unfortunately, he had only finished half my mouth when Megan was due to be born.

That was 2005.

It only took me 5 years to call back and make another appointment. Since then I have come to the conclusion that:

*if I can give birth without drugs, I can face a numb lip

*the cavities are not getting better over time

*I am wasting a thousand dollars of dental insurance per year. And you never know when dental insurance will be dropped by an employer. I don't want to pay for this myself.

*I hate having half a mouth of silver cavities....and even though they haven't said so, my kids get that "ewwww" expression when they see them.

*Even if I'm in the dental chair, somebody else is taking care of my kids.

So I skulked in there after 5 years and showed a proper amount of shame for my inconsistency. I was promptly forgiven and was pleasantly surprised to find out that in two more visits I will be cavity and silver filling free!

I love the dentist.

Watch this....

Several times.

Unlikely places

Last night I stayed up till 1:15 am playing Webkinz.

It's not my fault. Do you remember that story about the kid who saves and saves and saves his wittle pennies to buy a bike and just can't possibly earn enough, so his dad steps in and pays the rest? Of course you remember that story. We all remember it and it haunts our parental actions. I'm always torn between the beauty of assisting my hard working child "after all they could do" and encouraging them to bask in the satisfaction of achieving their goals. Confound those mormon folktales! They are contributing to my inner war.

So, my eldest three offspring were given Webkinz as a Christmas gift. Since then they have reveled in the virtual cuteness that IS Webkinz. Dressing, feeding, and playing fingernails-on-the-chalkboard animated music videos about a dog called Mustache Louie.

You can see why I've limited their daily computer time to 20 minutes a piece. Sanity must preserved. The time crunch severely limits their ability to earn "kinzcash" by playing games and answering trivia questions. This in turn makes the kinzcash they do earn highly precious and not to be spent willy nilly.

Mathew has been feverishly saving for a backyard for Hooves, his brown Arabian. It's got a pricetag of 1000 smackeroos, so in my effort to jump on the folktale bandwagon, I promised him I'd earn 500 if he'd earn 500 (half a bike is nothing compared to half a backyard).

That brings us to me playing on a child's virtual website in the wee hours of the morning. It didn't take me long to figure out that only a fool would waste time playing Cash Cow 2 or Candy Bash 2 Viva Poncho! when the real money is in Quizzy's Corner. Here you can pretend to be 5 years old and answer questions about shapes and colors and RAKE IT IN! suckahs!

Unfortunately I am the proud owner of an overactive conscience and selected the hardest setting (I think that makes me 13) and selected the "green thumb" category. How could I not?

Imagine my surprise when I received a bit of an early morning education in entomology and horticulture! Did you know that:

**When a spider takes down its web, it means there is a storm coming? Not me!

**Strawberries are a member of the rose family?

**Flies have no ears? Well then what's the point of "shoo, fly, don't bother me"? They can't hear a thing you are saying.

**Male mosquitoes are vegetarian? The ones drinking the blood are the girls. Women can be so mean....when are we going to learn to support one another?

And finally.

**Eggplants are poisonous if eaten raw. POISONOUS? They need to have a sign in the produce section with a little skull and cross bones. What if I had gotten a little creative and tossed a little fresh eggplant in my last pot luck salad? I could've wiped out the entire Relief Society!

I, for one, am highly impressed with the quality education to be had on the internet. Things are going to change around here. All I need to do is balance Webkinz time with a renewed commitment to serve Ramen Noodles and cold cereal on a regular basis.

Because when you know better you do better.

FHE Hall of Fame

Last night we were playing our weekly game of hide and seek (it's our default FHE activity). I ventured into the master bathroom looking for my children. I hear rustling coming from my closet and open it up really fast to provide maximum dramatic effect.

Me: ha HA! I found you!

Megan: I had to go to the bathroom and I couldn't wait.

Me: uh oh. Well, go in the potty and finish up.

Megan: That's okay! I already finished.

Hey Kaira, you remember those shoes I bought from you for 20 bucks after I got home from my mission?

They were murdered.