Adulthood

My children go to the dentist every 6 months like clockwork. Their little pearly whites have yet to come into contact with a drill. So they LOVE the dentist. Who wouldn't love an upbeat guy that has a frog puppet with teeth, video games in the waiting room, disney movies in the ceiling, stickers, prizes, namebrand toothbrushes and sunglasses to wear while they "count your teeth". For two weeks after each visit they ask when they get to go to the dentist again.

Weird.

I didn't fare so well with my childhood dental experience. I NEVER EVER entered that office without wanting to lose my cookies because of that nasty dentist smell. What is that? Makes me want to heave just thinking about it. And I certainly never left the office without a hefty dose of guilt for not flossing and an appointment to fill at least four cavities. Four! Every time!

It doesn't help that we were plagued with incompetent and even criminal dentists. I ask you, is it normal to ask your juvenile patients to give you their opinions on the merchandise you are planning to hawk at your "other job"? I have foggy recollections of a bright yellow shirt with a big smiley face on it. Even at that age, it seemed obvious to me that it would work to my advantage to give the hideous shirt a favorable review. He had a syringe and a drill. I wasn't stupid. I think that was the same guy that had a penchant for billing the insurance twice. Nothing a little time in the slammer didn't cure, I'm sure.

I hated the dentist.

So, once I had gotten the go ahead to go on my mission, I failed to darken the door of another dental office for many years.....7 years. The first time I called and made myself an appointment, I felt I had crossed over into responsible adulthood. I "sucked it up", went in and was pleasantly surprised to find that we were going to a capable and kind dentist. It also doesn't hurt that he has a lovely Arkansan drawl, calls me "darlin", and he doesn't HURT ME. He even started replacing my old silver fillings with white ones. I really love that. Unfortunately, he had only finished half my mouth when Megan was due to be born.

That was 2005.

It only took me 5 years to call back and make another appointment. Since then I have come to the conclusion that:

*if I can give birth without drugs, I can face a numb lip

*the cavities are not getting better over time

*I am wasting a thousand dollars of dental insurance per year. And you never know when dental insurance will be dropped by an employer. I don't want to pay for this myself.

*I hate having half a mouth of silver cavities....and even though they haven't said so, my kids get that "ewwww" expression when they see them.

*Even if I'm in the dental chair, somebody else is taking care of my kids.

So I skulked in there after 5 years and showed a proper amount of shame for my inconsistency. I was promptly forgiven and was pleasantly surprised to find out that in two more visits I will be cavity and silver filling free!

I love the dentist.