Incommunicado

This morning I woke up to the sound of my husband leaving the house to go teach early morning seminary. It was early.

Then I went about the business of convincing my oldest two to please remove themselves from bed and get dressed for school. That sounds so simple, but anybody who does it knows it isn't simple at all. Countless times I have to remind and redirect so that we can leave in a relatively calm manner. Which means I must remain calm as I try to convince them to obey without losing my temper and raising my voice. This is not easy when it seems that my voice is imperceptible to the Hufford ear. I strive to be calm. I pray to be calm. I ask forgiveness for not remaining calm.
I crave calmness.

I open up my laptop to check the weather because the sky is looking dark and ominous.

Nothing. No internet.

I do as I have been taught by my extremely computer literate husband and go unplug the cable modem and wait a few minutes and then plug it back in and try again.

Nothing.

We have Vonage, an internet based phone service, so that leaves me with no email, no phone and if you recall, no cell (may you rest in peace).

I'm cut off. Incommunicado. I hate it. I'm getting worked up.

Suddenly a normal morning feels stressful and unfair. On the way to take the boys to school, I feel tense and worried. I have panicky feelings of not being able to call and tell Mark that I don't have a phone! I can't email him that I don't have email! Mark is the guy that fixes everything and he doesn't even know that everything is broken. I am not joking when I say that I was on the verge of tears.

And what the heck is up with that?! Wasn't I JUST romanticizing about living in Sarah Granger Kimball's pioneer house? Was I thinking it would be fully networked? Milk a few cows, wash some shirts down by the river and then IM the hubby to come in from the field?

As the morning progressed, I began to get used to the silence and I stopped desperately trying to "connect". We were just fine. We had more than enough laundry to keep us busy and nobody required 911.

Perhaps the powers that be are trying to tell me something. You want calmness? Then calmness you shall have.

Now just be calm.