A week

It was Earth Week at the school this week. On Monday the K thru 2nd grades had a bit of an assembly during which they performed the Salsa for the rest of the school and the parents that cared to come early and see it. I arrived a bit late and had to park on the grass. I didn't mind that much but of course I rehearsed in my head what I would say to anyone that dared comment on my choice of an unauthorized parking spot. I always prepare one snotty thing to say and one patient, gracious thing...depending on the mood I'm in and the attitude of the confronter. So watch out. You never know which one you're gonna get (just ask the "grandma" that scolded me for not leaving my 3 babies in the van in order to return my shopping cart to the cart coral. That'll teach her).

Anyway, I slip into the overcrowded gym and try to visually locate Ethan and Mathew. I spot them and stand there while some guy finishes up convincing us that we must send all of our children's snacks and lunches in reusable containers because baggies and other plactic disposables NEVER break down and return to mother earth. Thank you. I needed one more thing to feel guilty about. Check.

Finally we finish up with the REDUSE! REUSE! RECYCLE! screaming match that they have going between the two groups of performers and the audience (charming) and we're on to the Salsa. It was very entertaining and that little dance teacher was shaking her bickies (Hufford lingo for 'bum') like nobody's business. I would have been slightly embarassed for her, but I was too busy trying to wrestle Laney and convince Megan not to help herself to the baggie of cookies some child had inadvertantly left on the bleachers...of course simultaneously attempting to capture the performance on camera. Suddenly the Salsa was over and they let the kids break into freestyle. FREESTYLE? Mathew immediately hit the floor and started breakdancing and Ethan started shoving his "neighbors" until the librarian told him to cut it out. I would have addressed the shoving issue with him after school, but I just didn't have the will. Instead I decided to find out who taught Mathew to break dance. He couldn't remember but he did give me a few pointers and I think we may be able to work something up in the event of a Ward Talent Show.

Because Wednesday was Earth Day, the kids were supposed to wear green, but we forgot. The awesome part is that when we were pulling into the school and I realized that we weren't 'with the program', I offered to bring them both a green shirt to wear. To my surprise, they both just said "nah". Nothing like apathy on Earth Day. I was absolutely on board with not having to make an extra trip so I said, "awesome" and sent them on their way.

The best part of Earth Week was definitely the smencils. Oh yes. Pencils with a smell. I personally think Rootbeer was by far the best one, but grape and orange are in a tie for second. Something about the smell of those smencils in the car after school with the windows rolled down and listening to the kids talk about not having any homework and "what are we going to do when we get home, Mom?" reminded me so much of being that age.

We got home and I parked a lawn chair on the front lawn in the "shade" of our new tree and let the kids ride bikes and listened to them negotiate who's the leader and make up new rules and tattle on each other when things weren't going their way. Laney is slowly tasting each non-edible substance in the front yard. Today she covered tree mulch and driveway gravel. We stayed out as long as possible and then ran in for dinner and came right back out to play until bedtime. I have an earlier bedtime for our kids than the neighbors do, so inevitably I was the mean mom because I made my kids come in before everyone else did. Didn't they appreciate the fact that I let them stay out almost an hour later than usual? In my experience, kids are generally "glass half empty" kind of people. So we head in and the kids get their pajamas on and we wash their filthy feet and faces. I pick three very short books for storytime and move right into scripture time. By now, Laney has lost her composure and she's screaming. The boys can't hear me hollering our few verses in 2nd Nephi, and then Laney reaches over and rips out a chunk of Megan's hair. Megan falls to pieces and as Mark tries to pick her up, she gets a book corner to the eye. The volume ramps up! Mark takes her to her room and calms her down while I take a few breaths and ask the Heavens above to "give me strength" because I can feel my will to live slowly being sucked out of me. Somebody up there is listening because we make it through prayer and drinks of water and bathroom visits. Lights are off. Laney's in her crib....did I mention I'm trying to wean her? Yowza.

And then suddenly everything is quiet. Every small member of the family is unconscious. I look at Mark and he looks at me. We made it. Nobody yelled. Nobody cried themself to sleep. Success.

Another week done.