Mat: "Mom, what age will I be a grown up?"
Me: "Well, when you turn 18, you can start making big decisions on your own"
Mat: "What happens when you are married for 100 years? Do you get married again?"
Me: "No, you just throw a really big party."
Mat: "But what if you die?"
Me: "That's okay. Mom and Dad will always be married. We'll see each other again later. We were married in the temple so we will always be married if we make good choices. That's why it's so important for us to be kind to each other and follow the commandments."
Megan: "Yeah. When you break a plate in the kitchen, you gotta sweep it up. But not the kids. Only the moms"
Me: "Yep."
Meg: "Yeah."
Mat: "Broken plates are sharp."
Satisfied silence.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Friday, September 25, 2009
King's Singers
When we were kids (the sibs and I, that is) we would go up to the Seminary building and watch Donald Duck cartoons on Family Night. My dad was a Seminary teacher in Utah, which meant that it was a full time job and he had keys to the building, which was located about 200 yds from the High School. It looked and smelled alot like church, but it had a candy bar machine, which I think would be an excellent addition to the mother's lounge. Can I get a witness?
On occasion, we'd head down to the Seminary building and drag the couches from the foyer into my dad's classroom and set up our own little cartoon theatre. We each got a little change to go get a candy bar and I'm sure there was probably soda and ice cream as well. Dad would hook up two VCR's and record a copy of the video that we had rented. I know, I know...it's illegal and the FBI will hunt us down like the dirty dogs we are then punish us with up to 50 years in prison or fine us eleventy billion dollars. I'm pretty sure we didn't grasp the wrongness of it back then...Dad being a teacher of doctrine and all.
So you might imagine we had a serious home video collection. You need to understand, however, that Dad didn't just tape one show on one tape. He taped show after show so that you had 5 or 6 different types of movies/nature specials/cartoons/General Conferences on any given tape. (My frugality has roots.) This led to a great deal of watching things in fast forward in an effort to get to what you were really trying to see. I specifically remember having a big thing for Johnny Appleseed, but in order to get to it, I had to fast forward through a nature special on Bengal Tigers and a bunch of guys singing a capella. Bo-ring. I must have scanned tigers and singers a hundred times before I ever gave either one the opportunity to educate or entertain me. I'm ashamed to say that I never did watch the tigers at normal speed, but once I stopped on The King's Singers, Johnny Appleseed was history. I developed a love for those particular guys and those particular songs that were on that particular tape. My mom and dad loved them too and it was one of the ways that I connected with my parents as a teenager.
I went home for a visit as an adult and painstakingly went through our video collection looking for the Johnny Appleseed/Bengal Tigers/King's Singers tape. Gone. I was crushed. It's one of those things that feels irreplaceable. I've searched for recordings of the particular concert that we had taped, but no luck.
Then just the other day when I was pulling weeds, I was thinking about that tape and wishing I could listen to it (I miss my dad) and a little voice whispered "YouTube!" (Isn't the Spirit up to date?) and I am pleased to embed for your listening pleasure....The King's Singers:
It made me cry, because of the memories, but I hope it at least makes you laugh a little. Or maybe you just think I'm more of a geek than you had previously thought. Either way.
On occasion, we'd head down to the Seminary building and drag the couches from the foyer into my dad's classroom and set up our own little cartoon theatre. We each got a little change to go get a candy bar and I'm sure there was probably soda and ice cream as well. Dad would hook up two VCR's and record a copy of the video that we had rented. I know, I know...it's illegal and the FBI will hunt us down like the dirty dogs we are then punish us with up to 50 years in prison or fine us eleventy billion dollars. I'm pretty sure we didn't grasp the wrongness of it back then...Dad being a teacher of doctrine and all.
So you might imagine we had a serious home video collection. You need to understand, however, that Dad didn't just tape one show on one tape. He taped show after show so that you had 5 or 6 different types of movies/nature specials/cartoons/General Conferences on any given tape. (My frugality has roots.) This led to a great deal of watching things in fast forward in an effort to get to what you were really trying to see. I specifically remember having a big thing for Johnny Appleseed, but in order to get to it, I had to fast forward through a nature special on Bengal Tigers and a bunch of guys singing a capella. Bo-ring. I must have scanned tigers and singers a hundred times before I ever gave either one the opportunity to educate or entertain me. I'm ashamed to say that I never did watch the tigers at normal speed, but once I stopped on The King's Singers, Johnny Appleseed was history. I developed a love for those particular guys and those particular songs that were on that particular tape. My mom and dad loved them too and it was one of the ways that I connected with my parents as a teenager.
I went home for a visit as an adult and painstakingly went through our video collection looking for the Johnny Appleseed/Bengal Tigers/King's Singers tape. Gone. I was crushed. It's one of those things that feels irreplaceable. I've searched for recordings of the particular concert that we had taped, but no luck.
Then just the other day when I was pulling weeds, I was thinking about that tape and wishing I could listen to it (I miss my dad) and a little voice whispered "YouTube!" (Isn't the Spirit up to date?) and I am pleased to embed for your listening pleasure....The King's Singers:
It made me cry, because of the memories, but I hope it at least makes you laugh a little. Or maybe you just think I'm more of a geek than you had previously thought. Either way.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Mom
Before Megan and Laney were born, I was a boy mom. I would yell out "Dumptruck!" "Choo Choo!" "Big Digger!" and there were cheers from the backseat. We were consumed with making the coolest, hilliest, most complicated train track possible. We added to the track collection at every gift giving opportunity.
Now my boys are in school and during the majority of my waking ours I'm a girl mom. Some things are the same: both seem to think the only choices for lunch should be corn dogs or ramen noodles (toss in a quesadilla once in a while just to mix it up), but everything else is different. We have less trucks, less dirt, less bugs, and less pee on the seat.
We have more tea parties (and more playdates. Girls love to hang with other girls. It's nature.)
More baking and more aprons.
More dancing (or twirling with blankets). Same dif.
More emotional breakdowns
More manicures
More changes of clothing and thus, more laundry. Don't you "dress" for dinner?
More advice on which shoes/shirt/earrings I should wear (and NOT wear).
More singing in the car. Meg loves Leona Lewis, Taylor Swift and Ingrid Michaelson. She has a good ear. She's the one who is always saying, "Turn it up, Mom!" I oblige. She sings "And IIIIII looooove the way you say good morning, and yooooouu take me the way I am." under her breath. Makes me smile every time. Laney kicks her legs to the beat like nobody's business.
A sharp increase in Barbie inspired musical performances. Darn you, Diamond Castle, darn you!
More floral decoration of park benches.
The greatest thing is that my boys haven't disappeared. I'm a girl mom and a boy mom. Although realistically, I'm just Ethan's mom, Mathew's mom, Megan's mom and Laney's mom. Each one of my kids has a knack for bringing out the nicest, kindest, most nurturing parts of me. And then two seconds later, they serve up the worst, nastiest, most sarcastic and impatient parts of me. Sometimes I take a breath and overcome. Sometimes I let er rip and say the thing I shouldn't say in a tone I shouldn't have taken. And that's the part I get to feel bad about (thank you, Spirit) and I am GUARANTEED another opportunity to do better. Usually within 24 hours.
I love being their mom.
Now my boys are in school and during the majority of my waking ours I'm a girl mom. Some things are the same: both seem to think the only choices for lunch should be corn dogs or ramen noodles (toss in a quesadilla once in a while just to mix it up), but everything else is different. We have less trucks, less dirt, less bugs, and less pee on the seat.
We have more tea parties (and more playdates. Girls love to hang with other girls. It's nature.)
More baking and more aprons.
More dancing (or twirling with blankets). Same dif.
More emotional breakdowns
More manicures
More changes of clothing and thus, more laundry. Don't you "dress" for dinner?
More advice on which shoes/shirt/earrings I should wear (and NOT wear).
More singing in the car. Meg loves Leona Lewis, Taylor Swift and Ingrid Michaelson. She has a good ear. She's the one who is always saying, "Turn it up, Mom!" I oblige. She sings "And IIIIII looooove the way you say good morning, and yooooouu take me the way I am." under her breath. Makes me smile every time. Laney kicks her legs to the beat like nobody's business.
A sharp increase in Barbie inspired musical performances. Darn you, Diamond Castle, darn you!
More floral decoration of park benches.
The greatest thing is that my boys haven't disappeared. I'm a girl mom and a boy mom. Although realistically, I'm just Ethan's mom, Mathew's mom, Megan's mom and Laney's mom. Each one of my kids has a knack for bringing out the nicest, kindest, most nurturing parts of me. And then two seconds later, they serve up the worst, nastiest, most sarcastic and impatient parts of me. Sometimes I take a breath and overcome. Sometimes I let er rip and say the thing I shouldn't say in a tone I shouldn't have taken. And that's the part I get to feel bad about (thank you, Spirit) and I am GUARANTEED another opportunity to do better. Usually within 24 hours.
I love being their mom.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Things I know for sure
*If you have recently hit, bit, pinched, kicked or spit on somebody you are going to be the one asked to say the prayer. Feel free to repent after you've blessed the food.
*When one side of the tablecloth is dirty, just flip it over. There's no point in just using half of it. This doesn't work if something wet has spilled on it, unless you haven't cleaned the kitchen in a timely manner and it's already dry. Then, go ahead and flip it. Unless it's Thanksgiving or something.
*I will never ever ever love to mop the floor.
*You will not realize that the new potted plant you bought for the living room is WAY TOO HUGE for the spot you had in mind until you've put all the seats down in the van, shoved it in (kids are driving with the "jungle experience"), drove it home, realized that the pot you wanted to use is currently home to an azalea, replant azalea next to the garage, lovingly put the huge plant into the extremely large and heavy clay pot, caringly tuck it in with MiracleGro potting mix, lug it in to the living room (resting along the way...it's ginormous). You stand back it you think, "Huh. That looks retarded." Go about your business. Try to give it a chance. Maybe it'll grow on you. Nope. Still looks retarded. Lug it back outside, dig the plastic pot out of the trash and re-repot plant. Shove it back in the van and hope you won't buy too many other things while you're at Walmart.
*It doesn't matter how many times we have spaghetti, I will never know how I'm supposed to know how many noodles to make. It's a mystery to me.
*My heart is going to break when Megan no longer gives me a "squeezy hug", lip kiss, nose kiss, butterfly kiss/right eye, butterfly kiss left eye, kiss on the right cheek, kiss on the left cheek and then insist that I repeat the whole process for her, right before bed. Heartbroken, I tell you.
*I'm never going to stop dreaming that I'm in high school and and I've sluffed my English Class all year and now it's time for the final and I'm ready to straighten up and fly right, if I could only find the office to get a printout of my schedule. I actually DO remember my locker combination, but have no idea which locker is actually mine. I wake up with my stomach tied up in knots and I'm indescribably relieved when I remember that I get to be a mom today, not a stressed out, angst ridden teenager.
*Nursery is the best calling. There are snacks involved.
*I'm a homework junkie. I love when my kids have homework. It feels so right and wholesome to insist that they "get their homework done before they play with friends". Just saying that to them makes me feel like a good mom. It's a no brainer and it's at least one time during the day I don't second guess myself. Duh. Homework before friends = responsible parenting. If they have no homework, I have been known to get on the internet and find them some. They'll probably bring this up at my funeral. I'm okay with that.
*Allowance is the way to go. Giving my kids $2.50 a week has solved the following problems:
*begging for treats in the check out lane. Didn't bring your allowance? Bummer.
*tithing and savings are very real to them. Their tithing and their savings.
*when you get to spend 1.25 each week, you quickly learn that a $6 carwash is a rip off. No more begging to go through the carwash. And a diamond studded prayer cross they saw on an infomercial (only 3 installments of 39.99!) is nuts. I was happy that I didn't have to get into the intricacies of why we don't wear prayer crosses. Even diamond studded ones with the Lord's Prayer inscribed so small you can only see it with a magnifying glass. Even those ones.
*when they beg for something, I ask them if they'd like to save their allowance to buy it. If they say yes, great. If they say no, then I ask them why I should pay for it if they don't want it enough to save for a few weeks to get it. Unstoppable logic. Beautiful.
So if we are talking about getting results, $7.50 a week is a killer deal.
*If your saying the Lord's Prayer and you forget the words, I highly doubt you are going to have a magnifying glass handy.
*It is VERY DIFFICULT to get a fat wiener dog to lose weight.
*Having a stash of Kit Kats in my nightstand drawer makes it substantially harder for me to stick to my diet.
*I am a wiz at unwrapping a Kit Kat without making a sound. It's a talent I've carefully cultivated.
*When one side of the tablecloth is dirty, just flip it over. There's no point in just using half of it. This doesn't work if something wet has spilled on it, unless you haven't cleaned the kitchen in a timely manner and it's already dry. Then, go ahead and flip it. Unless it's Thanksgiving or something.
*I will never ever ever love to mop the floor.
*You will not realize that the new potted plant you bought for the living room is WAY TOO HUGE for the spot you had in mind until you've put all the seats down in the van, shoved it in (kids are driving with the "jungle experience"), drove it home, realized that the pot you wanted to use is currently home to an azalea, replant azalea next to the garage, lovingly put the huge plant into the extremely large and heavy clay pot, caringly tuck it in with MiracleGro potting mix, lug it in to the living room (resting along the way...it's ginormous). You stand back it you think, "Huh. That looks retarded." Go about your business. Try to give it a chance. Maybe it'll grow on you. Nope. Still looks retarded. Lug it back outside, dig the plastic pot out of the trash and re-repot plant. Shove it back in the van and hope you won't buy too many other things while you're at Walmart.
*It doesn't matter how many times we have spaghetti, I will never know how I'm supposed to know how many noodles to make. It's a mystery to me.
*My heart is going to break when Megan no longer gives me a "squeezy hug", lip kiss, nose kiss, butterfly kiss/right eye, butterfly kiss left eye, kiss on the right cheek, kiss on the left cheek and then insist that I repeat the whole process for her, right before bed. Heartbroken, I tell you.
*I'm never going to stop dreaming that I'm in high school and and I've sluffed my English Class all year and now it's time for the final and I'm ready to straighten up and fly right, if I could only find the office to get a printout of my schedule. I actually DO remember my locker combination, but have no idea which locker is actually mine. I wake up with my stomach tied up in knots and I'm indescribably relieved when I remember that I get to be a mom today, not a stressed out, angst ridden teenager.
*Nursery is the best calling. There are snacks involved.
*I'm a homework junkie. I love when my kids have homework. It feels so right and wholesome to insist that they "get their homework done before they play with friends". Just saying that to them makes me feel like a good mom. It's a no brainer and it's at least one time during the day I don't second guess myself. Duh. Homework before friends = responsible parenting. If they have no homework, I have been known to get on the internet and find them some. They'll probably bring this up at my funeral. I'm okay with that.
*Allowance is the way to go. Giving my kids $2.50 a week has solved the following problems:
*begging for treats in the check out lane. Didn't bring your allowance? Bummer.
*tithing and savings are very real to them. Their tithing and their savings.
*when you get to spend 1.25 each week, you quickly learn that a $6 carwash is a rip off. No more begging to go through the carwash. And a diamond studded prayer cross they saw on an infomercial (only 3 installments of 39.99!) is nuts. I was happy that I didn't have to get into the intricacies of why we don't wear prayer crosses. Even diamond studded ones with the Lord's Prayer inscribed so small you can only see it with a magnifying glass. Even those ones.
*when they beg for something, I ask them if they'd like to save their allowance to buy it. If they say yes, great. If they say no, then I ask them why I should pay for it if they don't want it enough to save for a few weeks to get it. Unstoppable logic. Beautiful.
So if we are talking about getting results, $7.50 a week is a killer deal.
*If your saying the Lord's Prayer and you forget the words, I highly doubt you are going to have a magnifying glass handy.
*It is VERY DIFFICULT to get a fat wiener dog to lose weight.
*Having a stash of Kit Kats in my nightstand drawer makes it substantially harder for me to stick to my diet.
*I am a wiz at unwrapping a Kit Kat without making a sound. It's a talent I've carefully cultivated.
Monday, September 21, 2009
32
Mark turned 32 on Wednesday. So of course he got to use the special plate. And the fancy glasses. We really know how to party. We get crazy. 
He chose lasagna and garlic bread for his birthday meal followed by the most sinful chocolate cake known to man. Oh my. Let me tell you a few of the ingredients and then you'll know that I speak the truth: 1 cup melted butter, 5 eggs, 2 cups sour cream, chocolate chips, almond extract..
Need I go on?
As is often the case with birthdays as an adult, the day was full of work and kids and school and discipline. Mark has been working ALOT and it looks like that's going to be the way it is at least until January. Yikes.
Perhaps that is why he is giving me this less that convincing smile: exhaustion? perhaps?
No matter. A little pep talk perked him right up. He really got into it.
Happy Birthday, hon. I'm so happy we are now in the part of the year where I'm only 1 year older than you instead of 2.
He chose lasagna and garlic bread for his birthday meal followed by the most sinful chocolate cake known to man. Oh my. Let me tell you a few of the ingredients and then you'll know that I speak the truth: 1 cup melted butter, 5 eggs, 2 cups sour cream, chocolate chips, almond extract..Need I go on?
As is often the case with birthdays as an adult, the day was full of work and kids and school and discipline. Mark has been working ALOT and it looks like that's going to be the way it is at least until January. Yikes.Perhaps that is why he is giving me this less that convincing smile: exhaustion? perhaps?
No matter. A little pep talk perked him right up. He really got into it.
Happy Birthday, hon. I'm so happy we are now in the part of the year where I'm only 1 year older than you instead of 2.
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