I mean, it's the truth. It's how it is.
A lot of the time.
But not ALL of the time.
There's also the moments in the morning where I go to wake up Everly and she grabs my hand and wants me to come in to (my) bed and snuggle with her for just a few more minutes. She fiercely nuzzles her face into my neck and takes a deep, satisfied breath. And I feel completely loved. And, for a moment, I know that (for now) I am all that she needs. I'm enough.
There was the time this week where I found a minute of peace in the "old office" on the black couch. Things get hectic and loud after school and the kids haven't learned to look for me in there yet. So I thought I would be undisturbed and I looked up with irritation when Ethan came in. I figured he wanted to tell me someone was doing something to bug him. But he was bringing me a plate of perfectly crispy hashbrowns.
And he had a bottle of ketchup with him. He asked me how much ketchup I wanted. And it put a smile on my face. He made me hashbrowns!
Isn't that kind of the greatest thing?
And Mark took the girls (all four!) on a daddy daughter campout Friday night. I'm telling you....he DOES NOT like to camp. He has had his fill of it. He had talked himself out of going, we had a legitimate excuse to cut it all short and come home without putting up the tent. But he saw those little girl faces and felt their excitement to go and he just couldn't disappoint them. He packed them all up. He bought goodies and brought extra undies. He went out there and camped with his girls.
And because he did all of that, I got to have a night of Studio C, Pokemon Go and chocolate shakes with my boys. Bonus: there was little to no complaining. Double bonus: they said "Thanks, Mom!" and I was reminded that I like these people. When not in the throes of teenage metamorphosis, they're good company.
Megan ran her race! She ran the entire time and told herself to "push through the pain". She says she doesn't want to run anymore, but I think she would be amazing at track. I have 6 months to talk her into it.
Everly has a thing with scissors. She has the scissor skills of a kid twice her age. She's always cutting out something. And pasting it to something else. Sometimes it's chunks of hair....
But today it's dixie cups.
Lots and lots of dixie cups.
Dixie cups are better than bangs. I need to remember to put more on the grocery list.
We went to a baptism over the weekend. The man is a young father and he's just gone through a divorce. He's quiet and you get the feeling that he's not used to being around a lot of people. But, my goodness. That smile! He's found the gospel and he loves it. I've never met someone so laser focused on what is being said in sacrament meeting. He sat by Anna, Cambrie and Ella today in sacrament meeting. Those are the three reigning champions of "super loud whispering".
And he didn't hear them.
I turned around twice to apologize for them. He didn't even look at me. He is LISTENING.
It's inspiring.
After the baptism, I was chatting in the halls with Dylan and Jessica Clarke while Mark helped ordain one of the boys to be a priest. Sam, one of Ethan's friends. The girls were nowhere to be seen.
It turns out that they were putting together a play. On the stage.
And it was had a power outage. And a lightning storm....(Megan found the stage lights).
And it ended with a dancing angel.
Isn't that the best?
Mark taught Megan to change the oil.
The kids show signs of carrying on our tradition of apologizing with dance.
Laney is on chapter 6 of her Lucy and Mallyson book. Megan is helping with the illustrations. There is talk of self-publishing.
I love her knees. She's a busy girl.
We went off to the Women's Conference
And then out for custard and fries with some our friends.
And today Ethan substituted for me as Primary music chorister. I was nervous about it and I didn't know how he would do, so I stuck around until I saw him walk up to the front with a beanbag on his head and he said, "I just have one question....has anyone seen my bean bag?"
I knew everything was going to be O. Kay.
I left the primary room and went in search of the meeting I was supposed to be attending. I walked by the nursery and I saw Mathew and Kylie and 3 or 4 other teenagers feeding the little kids pretzels and singing songs with them. There's something magical about that.
Then I ran into Fred and Dylan Clarke. Fred told me that he had invited the Ethan and Mathew to go to the priesthood session with them and they said yes...(Ethan said yes!) Mark is going to out of town all week and through General Conference weekend. Dylan asked what time he could come pick up Ethan every morning to do a workout. And I just wanted to cry. Because what do you say to that? How do you not just want to hug those two sweet men right there in the hallway during church?
Life can be hard.
But maybe it's mostly beautiful and fun and surprising.
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